revmusings

A great story from Maggi

Following a recently revived ancient tradition, Eve Crookenden Johnson (age 13) was inaugurated as Child Bishop at All Saint’s, Wellingborough, in the Diocese of Peterborough on December 6 by the Archdeacon of
Northampton, The Venerable Christine Allsopp. Bishop Eve will serve until Holy Innocent’s Day (28th December), during which time she will preside at services and pray for and bless the parish congregation.

Dr Dennis Allsopp wrote:

” As Bishop Eve was inaugurated in front of a packed congregation, the sun broke through the wet grey clouds and blue sky blessed us.This was indeed a joyous event and a portent of happy things to come. Resplendent in her newly-crafted vestments, Bishop Eve blessed the congregation and joined Archdeacon Christine in greeting several hundred parishoners as they left the church. May every blessing be upon Bishop Eve in her short present ministry ,the good people of Wellingborough and the Priest at All Saint’s, Fr Tony Lynett.”

This e-mail is doing the rounds so I thought I would share it here in case you have missed it

The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.

Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.


Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.


While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around

The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.


Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.


We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.


Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

Yesterday was spent at Nottingham University for my husband's graduation - a BA in Ministry - which he completed at St John's. It was a great day and two daughter's managed to come from London whilst the other surrounded by children and packing boxes watched it on the web.

His comment to me over great Tapas meal last night was that the day had brought a sense of completion to our time here. I know what he means, - for me it was the acceptance of BU Douncil of the Interfaith strategy - something that was not even a vague possibility when we arrived here 5 years ago.

We both feel that, as usual, God's timing has been perfect and that have both completed things that God called us to here and that gives a freedom to move on.

There are always things that can be done where we are but they are not always for us to do - someone else will be called to do them. That is sometimes hard - discerning the tasks that are ours and those that are not and having the courage to leave those that belong to someone else.